Monday, June 18, 2012

This is an appeal...

...to raise awareness of sausage fingered blogger syndrome. 

Every day dozens of people read your blog.

People like Dan Milligan, a man so lazy he is actually fictional.

People like Conrad Kinch of Kingstown, Ireland - a man so feckless and a sluggish that he frequently reads your blog on his phone in bed, when he's meant to be sweeping the kitchen or writing that article that he promised to Donogh months ago. But mainly on his phone, because he's too lazy to wrest his laptop away from Mrs Kinch, who is probably doing something productive with it, like getting a Tesco shop in or arguing with people on the Internet.

Conrad reads your blog.

Conrad likes your blog.

Conrad would like to comment on your blog, but he can't.

Because Conrad suffers from Sausage Fingered Blogger Syndrome.

This is a real condition, a very real made up condition, that makes it too much trouble for Conrad to comment on your blog. Why?

Because your blog has "Show word verification" enabled.

Every day, Conrad expends seconds, sometimes entire minutes if he's bothered to write a long enough comment, trying to type a random word to prove that he's not a robot. He does this in spite of a tiny screens and the cruel vagaries of predictive text.

Conrad is not a robot.

For one he lacks their work ethic and unrealistically high standards of personal grooming.

Disabling "Show word verification" doesn't mean that your blog will be suddenly filled with comments offering you penis enlargement pills, Nigerian bank accounts or pictures of Hot Girls waiting for you live on their webcams.

Well, actually it does, but they will all end up in the spam filter, which empties itself anyway.

It doesn't mean that you can't moderate your comments. You will be able to. 

So take this small step and make it easier for people like Conrad to comment on your blog, rather than mashing their chubby fists against an iPhone screen while queuing at the Post Office.

It would be better. He is beginning to frighten the children there.

Thank you.

28 comments:

  1. Ok this post is a GOOD reason to stop following your blog - So I will

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If this blogger hath offended,
      Unfollow and all is mended,
      Leave us with a parting kiss,
      While we remain to take the piss

      Delete
  2. Conrad, I have been inspired by this post. Not to turn off word verification, but to post #1 of Wargamers In Litereature - Mr Neville Thwick - on Vintage Wargaming. Those Thwick fingers must have been quite nimble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nimble indeed - to be honest I'd quite forgotten about him. Puckoon is a magical book though - so light and deft.

      Delete
  3. Here here! Down with this sort of thing!

    I've had a grand total of 1 spam post in the entire time my blog has been up (ok, only 6 months) and it was filtered, but captchas really get on my wick!

    ReplyDelete
  4. LOL, OK you got it buddy...)

    ReplyDelete
  5. the trouble I have with the verification "words" is reading the bloody things! (I can type just fine)
    but I will take your suggestion under advisement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The main difficulty is when using a phone rather than a computer.

      Delete
  6. I have NEVER had any sort of "verification" on any of my blogs . . . and I've had very few spam comments over the years (even before the spam filters) . . . so do as Conrad asks and disable the silly things.


    -- Jeff

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree entirely. Why some people lock up access to their blog comments as though it was their bank account, I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. 'Tis done, and how about a general call to remove 'light box' so we can all look at each others offerings close up. With my failing peepers it would make life much more fun.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I turned verification off months ago and I agree that its a pain when commenting on other blogs. It takes 2 clicks to disable so is not exactly onerous.

    On a different note, I feel most peturbed that you don't follow my blog. Capturing the Kinch is a major achievement for many bloggers - an achievement I haven't managed yet.

    I'll have to put on some more Napoleonics to tempt you over.

    ReplyDelete
  10. OK, so I've changed mine so you better leave a comment now!

    Or are you that Russian bride?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I removed it last month when blogger "Big Lee" complained the same.. word verification is a total pain in the 'arris.... and don't even get me started on the pictures of numbers they are now using!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can never read the damn things myself, always find them frustrating, but I persevere, although in some instances I have given up.

    I don't have it enabled on my bog :-)

    Lee.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I turned mine off about four weeks ago with no change I can see, tough I have a house full of naked women and millions of £ in my acount waiting for their owners to collect.

    So you have NO excuse (other than I write shite) but to commont in my blog LOL

    Ian

    ReplyDelete
  14. I turned off word verification a wwek or so ago and the comments completely dried up, apart from a series of effusively praising comments that invited me to visit suspicious links.

    I was on my way to turn it back on when I discovered I had apparently also turned on moderation but with no notification email address.....

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well, Brother Kinch, in your honour I have braved the depths of Blogger's setup pages and disabled the dreaded captchas for The Axis Of Naughtiness.

    I hope this means you'll grace us with your wit and wisdom over there now?

    Dr V
    (he of the still slightly throbby left thumb and forefinger)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I have had verification disabled since I started my blog 18 months ago - 100's of comments, not a spam one yet.

    I too find it annoying to type those darned verifications in, even when I can read them correctly by squinting at them on a 20" monitor screen.

    ReplyDelete